A Day in the Life of Russel Hobbs
by cucumber-san
Summary: Just another ordinary day...


Well, here it is! The only fan-fiction EVER that is all about Russel...

* * *

A loud crash snapped the large drummer from his peaceful slumber. He sat up, rubbing his face in both his hands before glancing at the digital clock on his bedside table.

10:47

Sighing he looked around for the source of the noise, his eyes dropped to the pile of dishes scattered haphazardly over his bedroom floor. He picked them up and set them back on the bed before shuffling around the room in search of a (mostly clean) pair of pants. He yawned loudly and opened his door, stepping out into hallway. A loud rumbling from his stomach made him head towards the kitchen.

He checked the fridge, nothing but a half full jug of milk and one of Noodle's stuffed animals. The cupboards were almost bare, save for a box of muffin mix and some elbow macaroni.

Muffins it is.

He'd barely gotten it mixed and into the pipping hot oven when a loud wail and heavy footsteps interrupted the morning silence of Kong. A quick look at the watch on his wrist confirmed his fears. He swore it was like clockwork every morning.

"Russ! Russ! 'elp me! 'e's gonna kill me!" A tall blue-haired blur shot into the kitchen and shivered behind him.

"Where is that fucking idiot gone now!"

Murdoc Niccals appeared in the doorway, practically growling with anger. "Dullard, the fat man can' hide ya forevah,"

"What did you do this time 'D?" The drummer asked.

"N-n-nuffin,"

"Bullshit, I'll tell ya what the faggot did. Waited til I left me winne, then 'e snuck in there and cleaned up all me rubbish. 'e scrubbed me FUCKIN' TOILET, 'e did."

"That don't sound too bad to me, Muds,"

The bassist eyes narrowed to angry slits, " 'e put curtains in me windows. Flowery, girly, GOD-DAMNED CURTAINS!"

" 'D, when are you gonna learn?"

"I was jus' tryin'a spruce fings up a bit. S'always so gloomy and d'pressin' in there," 2D was on the verge of tears.

"I like it like that, thank you very much!" Murdoc shouted before storming off.

2D felt it was safe to come out of his hiding spot, "Yew makin' muffins? Can I 'ave one?"

Once he had the muffin, hot and fresh from the oven, he skipped off happily to bother Noodle. The drummer sighed once again and helped himself to a muffin or four.

Yep, just another exciting morning for Russel Hobbs.

* * *

After his mid-morning nap, Russel settled himself down on his computer. Surfing the internet, he came across a fan website. Clicking on it, he discovered a wonderful world where crazed fans (Me? NEVER) could post their own stories. He found a Gorillaz link and soon found that Noodle, 2D, and even Murdoc were the main characters in every story.

Russel felt a jolt of disappointment, "What about me? I'm interesting right? Right?"

"What're you blubbering on abou'," Murdoc had snuck in without him noticing. He looked over Russel's shoulder at the webpage before emitting a noise of pure and utter disgust.

"What the hell is this? These people writin' abou' me and that..." He shivered, "...Dullard gettin' it on? Who in their righ' minds would read this?"

Murdoc shot Russel a sickened look, "Please tell me, you 'aven't been reading this,"

"Hell no, I just found it. But look, there's none about me..."

"Aww, Russ, don' worry. I bet you got lots of stuff written abou' you," Murdoc gave the drummer a pat on the back and was on his way out the door.

"Oh," He turned to face Russel, "practice 'as been moved up a bit. Can you be there in say, an hour?"

Russel nodded and logged off, shutting the computer down. Murdoc was probably right, there had to be some stories out there that were all about him...

No sooner had Murdoc walked out when the Japanese guitarist appeared.

"Russel-san! Play with me! 2D said he didn't feel well, but I know it's just cause I beat him every time. Please?" She gave him big, green puppy dog eyes.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, he found himself in 2D's bedroom, fighting hordes of skeletons in one of Noodle's favorite games, Castle Crashers.

"See? Do you see? I have a little giraffe for a pet! See? Isn't he cute? He makes me level up faster!" Noodle squealed at him while happily mashing the buttons.

She flopped over onto her stomach, never taking her eyes off the screen. Russel frowned, he had no idea what the point of this game was. And why was the princess's face always covered?

2D strolled in holding a bag of steaming popcorn, dropping it when he realized that Noodle and Russel were in his bedroom.

"Oi! What're yew two doin' in here?" He had forgotten all about the popcorn, which had spilled out of the bag and was littering his already messy floor.

"Playing Castle Crashers," Came Noodle's monotone reply. She was still sucked into the video game.

"Hey! My door was locked. 'ow'd you get in?"

"Uh-oh," Noodle glanced over at the lanky singer for the first time.

"Noodle, did you break in?" Russel was clearly unhappy.

Noodle jumped up and made a break for the door, "See ya!"

2D grabbed hold of her as she ran by, causing them both to crash into 2D's nightstand, spilling its' contents to the floor. Including (Ahem) some nudie magazines.

"2D, you're gross!" Noodle laughed as she tossed one to Russel.

"Hot and Sexy Housewives?" Russel read the title aloud and burst into laughter.

" 'D, don'...don't tell me you read this stuff?"

2D's face turned red, "No, I don'. I look a' the pictures!" He yelled.

Noodle and Russel looked at each other and burst into more fits of giggles that was interrupted by Murdoc shouting," 'ey! practice started ten minutes ago, where the hell were you?"

He got his answer when Russel shoved the magazine into his hands before exiting the room followed by Noodle.

"My God, face-ache,"

"What? You got 'em too. I seen 'em,"

"Oh, tha's right. I still gotta pound ya for sneakin' in me winne,"

2D's eyes widened and he ran out into the carpark, Murdoc chasing behind him.

* * *

Practice was successful, but left Russel feeling hungry. The kitchen was bare, so he decided on pizza, making Murdoc call out for it. The delivery boy would set foot past the gates of Kong, so Russel had to drive the Geep down to pick it up.

They had all settled into 2D's room by the time Russel was back with the pizza. Thankfully the magazines had been stashed away. 2D had put in a zombie flick, Dawn of the Dead. It was the original, in black and white. Russel didn't care for black and white movies. They just didn't catch his attention, and he soon found himself drifting off to sleep.

He dreamed that Noodle had been bitten and turned into a flesh-craving zombie. She was advancing on the helpless 2D, groaning, "No, I don't want to. Please..."

Russel sat up, a little disoriented.

"Russel-san. Murdoc says I have to go to bed, but I'm not tired, can I stay up with you?" Noodle rubbed her eyes sleepily.

"Nah, it's late. You need your sleep little lady,"

Noodle sighed, she knew better than to argue with Russel, and strode wearily from 2D's bedroom.

" 'ey dullard!"

2D looked to Murdoc, who smashed a cold slice of pizza into his face. Murdoc chuckled as 2D tried to (unsuccessfully, I might add) wipe the cheese and sauce off his face.

"Tha's fer the curtains,"

Murdoc made his way to the winne waving a hand at Russel who was more than ready for bed. He grabbed a pizza box and headed upstairs, laughing as 2D cussed and flung tomato sauce everywhere.

Russel's room was still a mess, but he was too tired to care, he'd clean up tomorrow...

He scarfed down a few pieces of pizza and passed out, still fully dressed. Thus ending another ordinary day in the life of Russel Hobbs.

* * *

I'm sure you've all heard, but...

They're new album comes in march! I'm so freakin excited!!


End file.
